Arshi-FF Beautiful Pain

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Jul 7

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Wasted Journey" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 32 times)


                                                     "Wasted Journey"

“There was one of his lonelinesses coming, one of those times when he walked the streets or sat, aimless and depressed, biting a pencil at his desk. It was a self-absorption with no comfort, a demand for expression with no outlet, a sense of time rushing by, ceaselessly and wastefully - assuaged only by that conviction that there was nothing to waste, because all efforts and attainments were equally valueless.” 

                         ~ The Beautiful and Damned, F. Scott Fitzgerald  

“All I think of ever is that I love you.” 

                          ~ The Beautiful and Damned, F. Scott Fitzgerald  

A week later,

Arnav Singh Raizada stared at the notice handed to him by his newly discovered brother. He looked up at him examining his features. Zayn wore hard expression. He had not smiled at any of them after his encounter months ago in ASR’s farm house. Even stopped flirting with Lavanya much to NK’s ease.

Looking in Arnav’s eyes, he spoke clearly, “I’m resigning. Show is over!”

Arnav lowkey didn’t want him to leave. Zayn was simplest part of his life. He reminded him of all the good he could’ve been if life was less cruel. Or if he was less passionate. He brushed those thoughts away and bite the inside of his lip.

“Well...too bad.” Arnav shrugged, “We could’ve used you well!” Zayn didn’t say anything. He stared at his hands and then up at Arnav’s face who was now examining his resignation notice.

“I really wanted to have siblinga!” Arnav’s gaze froze at one point hearing Zayn’s confession, “I...well it doesn’t matter now. I don’t want siblings anymore.”

Arnav knew why. He was a criminal and a guy like Zayn would never associate himself with him. Even his father would have been disgusted by his presence..

“Have a good life, Zayn!” He stood up and shake his hand slipping a card in his palm, “I’m one call away if you need me!”

He left without looking back and Arnav stared at the door for minutes feeling a little empty inside. Don’t be silly, he told himself, he was just a guy..

“He is your brother!” he closed his eyes and sank into brown, leather chair, leaned back and breathe. He was his brother and he admittedly felt protective of him just how he felt for other important people in his life.

His phone rang yanking him out of his thoughts and he received the call from Ali.

“Ali-” He frowned hearing whimpering.

“Can we talk?” He asked hoarsely.

“I’m on my way!”

And sure he was, like a bullet. speeding his car towards Ali’s house hastily ignoring all the traffic signals and parked his in front of medium sized bungalow, all done in a jiffy!

He opened the door with the spare keys Ali gave him a while ago and walked in. The bungalow wasn’t big at all as it looked from outside. He glanced around the dimly lit living room and blinked at the sight of messed up house. Everything was on the floor, broken, fallen, spilled and shattered including glass, crockery, food and every liquid thing from the fridge. And in the corner sat Ali with his head hung so low, it made him seem as though dead...he neared him pushing past the shards of glass and broken furniture with his feet.

“Maryam has left!” he heard him sob as soon as he sat beside him on the floor.

“Why?” he asked frowning.

“I dunno...she doesn’t care!” he sounded so broken and scared.

“OK. So what’s up now?”

“I’m going after her!” Ali said with relatively composed voice.


“-we had a fight and she left. Its my fault. Its always my fault!” he bite his lip to stop himself from crying.

“No, look. Tell me what happened! Was it...does it has anything to do with me?” he asked knowing well the destest Maryam showed overtly for him.

“No…” he cleared his throat and looked at me with his red swollen eyes, “You read Scott’s The Beautiful and Damned?” Arnav nodded his head solemnly, “That’s us! Anthony and Gloria! “She was beautiful - but especially she was without mercy.”” he quoted from book and chuckled, “What's worse is that I can’t leave her. You know, I can’t breath without her!” Arnav said nothing.

After a moment Ali spoke again, “I wanna give my notice, for a while I wanna be alone with her. Maybe things will change!” Arnav nodded again.

They sat in silence. Arnav brought him water and he drank.

“You’re a cool ****, you know…” Ali said chuckling.



“Feel any better?”


“Well, cleaning may help!” Arnav said standing up.

They started cleaning the house together. None of them spoke. Ali felt a little better but not because of cleaning but for the fact that his wife left him hints of her location. He could always make things up with her. And Arnav’s presence made him feel at home.

“I just miss my mom,” he said as they sat on the sette after cleaning was done.

“Me too!” Arnav said sipping the cold beer.

“Why are women so complicated?” He asked.

“Tell me if you get the answer…”

“I love Maryam so much. And sometimes it feels like a curse!”

Arnav didn’t say anything but stared at the opaque beer bottle in his hands.

“Do you feel same about Khushi?”

“Yeah...” he said honestly and took a big gulp of the beer. :In this case, I'm a curse in her life.."

“She is an angel!” Ali said thoughtfully.

“I wish she wasn't. I feel dirty…”  


“-seriously how did we get here?” he frowned.

“We traveled.” Ali spoke in some kind of trance.

“It was a wasted journey, then.”


“I dunno...why a stupid person has to have f-cking power to f-ck our lives like they're nothing more than part of their games?”

“Are you talking about Khushi or your mom?” Ali asked earnestly.

“I wanna sleep…” Arnav said placing the beer on the low coffee table. “I’m taking that couch!” he said and rest of the day, they slept occupying each couch in the living room.

Whatever the destiny had planned, would have to wait until they woke up freshly anxious.


Next update on gooody response!

Jul 10

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Say Something" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 28 times)


                               “Say Something

"You're setting off/It's time to go, the engine's running/My mind is lost/We always knew this day was coming/And now it's more frightening than it's ever gonna be" (James Bay, Scars)

Three Months Later,

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She cried, tears sticking on her crimson cheeks.

“Khushi I-”

“-Your mother killed my parents and You like a fool let me believe otherwise...I...I kept on blaming you...hating you and here…” she broke down, kneeling on the floor, she covered her face with her palms. Arnav knelt beside her and embraced her though she resisted at first but gave up soon. She was shaking in his arms like a dry leaf and Arnav clutched her even tight.

3 months ago, just after they made up that night, his mother decided to interject her well planned theory on how Arnav was the one who got her parents killed. She approached Khushi and everything changed. Khushi loathed him.

And today, mysteriously, she found out the truth. He sighed. Can he get a break from all the surprises?

“How did you-”

“-Maryam send me tapes of your mother’s confession.” she spoke as soon as she had composed herself, breaking away from him, “Now, tell me. Why, why didn’t you tell the truth?” she demanded with such fierceness that he couldn’t speak.

He stared at her stunned.  

“Why? Now why are you silent?”

“Because...I don’t have any answers.” Khushi frowned.

We grow apart,

I watch you on the red horizon

Your lion's heart

Will protect you under stormy skies

And I will always be listening for your laughter and your tears

He had answers. He knew how to communicate his answer word by word but who would want to tell his wife that his mother was a f-king cold blooded murderer? And how exactly could he look in her eyes again? It was okay if she hated him, he was used to the hate but he couldn’t bear hate in those eyes for his mother. When you extend you heart and love another person, you tend to have a deep desire to see your two beloveds at least like each other if not love. He had loved his mother who hated him. He loved khushi too, he could deal with her hate too as long as her eyes were still innocent of hate for his mother.

“Pathetic!” a voice in his head screamed, “You, son of a ****! Move the f-k on! Will ya?”

“How?” He had asked this question so many times before to the same voice but it always told him, “Just do it!” Like it was a murder he was supposed to commit or go and buy flowers for Khushi. It was about moving on. There has to be a process. Some process. Even killing has a process, you hold the knife firmly and swiftly drive it through carotid artery; the easiest way to kill. And it has a process too which if not followed correctly could cause a mess.

He was supposed to move on just like that.

But trouble was he didn’t know anything that worked by the concept of just-like-that.

“Zayn is your brother,” her voice cut through the thick silence and he looked up in her eyes, “Were you ever gonna tell me that?”

“No.” He confessed honestly. What was the point of lying, anyway?

“I never keep secrets from you! Why, then, you felt the need to keep secrets? Husbands and wives don’t keep secrets…” her tone at the end became soft. So soft, he could not bear looking at her so he turned his gaze away.

“I dunno. I’m like that…” that was the only answer he could give.

Khushi stared at his face for God knows how long as he sat their lost in his thoughts with his eyes fixed at some point on the Persian rug. She has stopped crying at this point. She didn’t wipe her sticky cheeks. It felt good, crying. It brought peace. Like someone has placed a soothing balm on her open wounds that were salted by the sea water of hate and anger.

Anger and hate were toxic, khushi knew that. They brought along drought that suck one’s tears away, parasites that fed on the soul and coldness that kissed away the happiness leaving you walking dead zombie. But you still smile and no one ever really knows there is a parasite in your chest, feeding off you. She had felt them all in last three months, the tears in her eyes dried away. She didn't cry. Her cheeks didn’t feel wetness of salty water.

But her heart had cried. It had bled for unrealized love, for wasted affection, for lovelessness. It shattered in so many pieces that khushi thought it would never be whole again but it was heart, it always heals. It could build defenses against every parasite. It just needed hope and proven-wrong.  

It healed the moment she heard those tapes because she was proven wrong, the strongest defense of hearts. But not without also changing. It changed. Something altered inside her when she listened to those tapes and now as she stared at the silent man kneel in front of her, his eyes fixed at some point on the Persian rug, she was sure the change was real.

She gazed and gazed with thoughts swarming, occupying her head like uninvited guests: careless and unempathetic.

“I don’t you khushi dear, I hate my son” Aliya’s voice rang through her ears as though she was sitting beside her whispering in her ears.

“But why-why? She had asked timidly.

“Because he is a murderer…” she had said smoothly and nonchalantly

“I know…”

“He killed my best friend...your mother-”

“No-” i shrieked but she continued, “Why do you think he never talks about your mother? Why do you think, I his own mother, hate him? He is a liar...he keeps secrets...he is a criminal….do you think I hate him for no reason?” in the end khushi thought her heart would explode with pain of betrayal and just then his mother had left.

She gazed and gazed and wondered, what has changed? Just in few hours, what has changed?

She gazed and gazed and realized, she has changed. She didn’t embrace him and assure him it was fine. Wasn’t that what she wanted to do in past three months, if by any chance the universe proved Arnav innocent? Why was she frozen on the spot? Why was not she telling him, its was okay and that they were going to be fine? Was that not what she craved to do hiding under the piles and piles of sheets praying to Devi Mayya to prove all the allegation against her husband wrong?

As she gazed and gazed, she felt repulsed by the man sitting in front of her. She could never again look at him with that genuine smile, hug him with enthusiasm of a child, kiss his cheeks shyly, play with the strings of his shirt or ask him to play for her.

It was all over. At least for her.

Did she love him? She didn’t know.

Was there anyway, she was gonna go back to normal? Definitely no. Or maybe yes but she wasn’t sure just yet.

She sat stoically as the words poured out of her mouth before she could even stop, “I’m pregnant!”

The trance between them broke and Arnav felt the universe laughing at him with hate in its eyes. Why? He asked, it just laughed. Its laugh cruel to his ears. He closed his eyes.

A child was the last thing, he ever wanted.

Your hands are cold,

Your lips are turning blue, you're shaking

This fragile heart,

So heavy in my chest, it's breaking


I need good feedback. 

(@Lazydoll: I hope this one is not boring and you liked it!)

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Elitists last part is up!